Amy Taylor and Josh Maynard, co-authors of A Kids Book About Being An Introvert, talk about discovering the intentional, (sometimes) quiet, and wonderful power in being an introvert.
Amy Taylor and Josh Maynard, co-authors of A Kids Book About Being An Introvert, talk about discovering the intentional, (sometimes) quiet, and wonderful power in being an introvert.
A Kids Book About Being An Introvert (view book)
Full Book Description:
In a time when it seems like so much depends on small talk and friend count, life can start to feel a little awkward for the introverted kiddos of the world. This book explores the introvert experience from struggles to superpowers, on a mission to affirm those of us who find solace in a bit of silence and solo time. We have a lot to offer the world—and we do it our own way.
About the Author:
Amy Taylor (she/her) is an Ohio-based writer, storyteller, introvert, and proud dog mom. Josh Maynard (he/him) is a lifelong introvert, dad of 3 (boisterous) tiny humans, and designer based in Arvada, Colorado.
*If you want to be on a future episode of A Kids Book About: The Podcast or if you have a question you’d like us to consider, have a grownup email us at listen@akidsco.com and we’ll send you the details.
A Kids Book About: The Podcast
Amy and Josh Talk About Being an Introvert
[INTRODUCTION]
Matthew: What does it mean to be an introvert?
Josh: Introvert has so many different meanings for different people, of course. Um, I think the one that I keep coming back to, and maybe it's because this is how I connect, is just being most, most comfortable with yourself in like a less crowded or quieter environment. Or even being alone. So for me that's, like, really what being an introvert means
Amy: And I think for me having gone through this book and talked to a lot of introverts and also being one I've come to the conclusion that I think being an introvert is a lot about how you experience the world and digest the world just around you and also how you replenish your energy.
So when you're feeling drained and kind of just need to step back and spend some alone time to kind of absorb and digest and think about, you know, what you've learned or you've been around, that all for me plays into what it means to be an introvert.
Matthew: Welcome to A Kids Book About: The Podcast! I’m Matthew. I’m a teacher, a librarian, and I’m your host.
The voices you heard just a moment ago were from Josh and Amy.
Each week we talk about the big things going on in your world with a different author from our A Kids Book About series.
Amy: Hello. My name is Amy Taylor. I am a firstborn daughter, big sister, INFJ, proud introvert, and co-author of A Kids Books About Being an Introvert.
Josh: Hi, my name is Josh Maynard. I am a dad of three kiddos. I make websites for my job. And I am the co-author and illustrator of A Kids Books About Being an Introvert.
[TOPIC FOUNDATION]
Matthew: We’ve got two big categories of identification we’re talking about today: introverts and extroverts. Have you heard of either of those before? To oversimplify, an introvert is someone who derives energy by doing quieter, more focused, more solitary things. An extrovert, by contrast, derives energy in more crowded, more social, more outgoing situations and settings.
Amy and Josh are about to do a really stellar job breaking this down even more, but I thought it might help to have an idea of each in your head before going into their examples. We’ll start with being an introvert and the question, “How does one know if they’re an introvert or not?”
Amy: You may be, as an introvert when you're out in the world, you know, you might be someone who wants to kind of think and reflect before you respond to things. You may, you know, when you meet new people, you might be really interested in kind of absorbing their personality and learning about them and curiosity and just kind of taking that in.
And I think, too, on the other side is, when you're in new experiences or out in the world and you've had a really busy day, you know, instead of feeling like necessarily, “Oh, I'm so energized by this.” You might be like, “Woo, I've had a lot to think about today. And I just need to go home and read a book or pet my dog, or, you know, take a nap or be around people that I know well to kind of restore that energy and get back to your place.”
And I think so much of that just goes to our minds and hearts are always working as introverts. We're always kind of looking at things and feeling things and thinking about things.
And so as we're doing all that hard work, you want to kind of let it process at the end of the day. And so sometimes that looks like being a little bit more quiet or reflective.
Josh: For me, after all the kids are asleep and my wife is asleep, that means me spending some quality time by myself. And I really have to do that every day just to decompress and get ready for the next day.
And I think I knew really, really early on that I was an introvert just because I would build set after set of Legos. That was my big thing was by myself. I just needed that outlet to be creative and explore in like a quiet place.
And I also like read books. So some people read like a lot of books instead of like playing with friends. And that's totally great.
Matthew: Okay, listeners. Did that feel like Amy and Josh were describing you at all? If so, you might also identify as an introvert.
Someone who identifies as an extrovert experiences life a bit more differently.
Josh: I think an extrovert to me is someone who really gets their energy from, you know, being with a large group of people. Maybe they like speaking in public and it's not, you know, super anxiety ridden.
So for me, before I speak in a group, my heart's pounding, my chest is beating. I can feel it. I have to take a few deep breaths and feel better. But for an extrovert, it might not be like that for them.
What we did in the book was we created a scale going from kind of more quiet to more loud. And I think it's important to know that you're not one thing forever. And you're not one thing every day.
Throughout the day, I change constantly. Maybe I'm, I'm in a meeting and I'm at like a one in terms of being an introvert. I'm more quiet. And then maybe the next day or later that day, I'm more at like an eight. So I'm different on the scale. And that can definitely change day to day situation to situation.
And I think even as we grow older, some people get more extroverted or more introverted. For me, I think I might've actually gotten more introverted as I aged, which is interesting.
Matthew: Let’s take a quick break. And when we return, Amy and Josh will talk about the challenge of being an introvert in a world built around extroverts.
Amy: Historically, there's been a little bit of pressure, especially in America, that the extrovert ideal, we hear that word thrown around a lot, right? So this like, “Oh, gregarious and social and outgoing and charming”, and all of these things are really highly valued, especially as you get into the adult workplace. And, you know, that just becomes part of the experience.
But also even in school, when you're expected to get up and speak and present and do things like that, And, you know, having the mentality of like the popular crowd and what that looks like.
So I think in getting to know ourselves and be comfortable with the fact that we might feel more introverted on one day or more expert on another day, that just all contributes to a sense of authenticity that I think makes us better as human beings and helps us not only understand ourselves better, but also the people that we're around and, you know, your friends and your family and colleagues and everybody who's out there.
I fully believe that scale that you, that Josh created in the book is such a great thing, because for me, I think it was the first time in almost 42 years of life that I saw somebody put a visual to like, you know, different days, different, different vibes, and that's okay. And that's really being authentic is leaning into that and knowing like today I might want to go out and hang out with friends and have a fun chatty night and tomorrow I might want to lay in bed with my dog and read a book and just chill and that's okay no matter where you fall on that scale.
Matthew: We’ll be back in just a moment.
[BREAK]
Matthew: Welcome back.
Today on the podcast we’re talking about being an introvert with A Kids Book About co-authors Amy Taylor and Josh Maynard.
Before the break, Amy mentioned the existence of an “extrovert ideal” in America and throughout the world. This points to the world and how we do things being made more for outgoing, social, extroverted types.
Perhaps, if you identify more toward the introvert side of the scale, you’ve felt this before.
And that got me thinking about if some people might see being an introvert in a negative way.
Josh: Yeah, unfortunately, I think there is a negative connotation with being an introvert, and I think Amy touched on that. Just, it feels like the world is designed for extroverts at times.
And when you look over those words, I think at some point in our lives, we've all been called or described as one of those things, as an introvert. And it doesn't feel good. I don't think people mean to be mean about it, um, when using those words, but it's not a good feeling when someone calls you shy or asks you to speak up, um, or calls you a loner. I think that's one of those big ones, too.
Amy: Yeah, I mean, I think there is a sense of judgment in some of those words. And the danger of those, those harsh words in particular is that when you apply labels to anyone, whether an introvert or an extrovert, those are words we absorb. And those are identities that we can take on and that changes our experience and how we relate to others. And it also changes our relationship with ourselves.
And so towards the end of the book, Josh had a beautiful alternative to that, which highlights some of those wonderful points of introverts. And so my hope from that is really that we think about the things that we say to others and the words that we use to label others and lean into the kinds of things that help people see the beauty in themselves and the uniqueness and the talents. And introverts and extroverts both have awesome things to contribute and we help the world in different ways. And so I think that's maybe part of what we hope people get from this book is just, it doesn't really matter which side you identify with, you have gifts, and we need them, and we need to support each other in that, because there's something awesome you're bringing to the world.
Josh: It's just reframing the conversation for yourself. Taking those negative words and instead turning them around, like, “How should I describe myself better? You know, am I, am I only quiet? Am I shy?” No, like there's a huge list of things that we are outside of that. And even though people may say those things about us, those words don't define us at all.
Matthew: One of my favorite lines in A Kids Book About Being an Introvert is this one: “There are so many different ways to be human. There’s no right or wrong. It’s about what makes you feel safe and secure.”
Josh? Amy? We would love for you to unpack that for us, if you don’t mind.
[PERSONAL CONNECTION TO TOPIC]
Josh: Sure. I think feeling safe and secure to me is just, it's a feeling of, you know, where am I most comfortable in the world? I think a lot of people who know me would be surprised to know that at home, I am goofy and I am loud and I am funny. I hear, at least.
It's just interesting that the place where I feel safest is with my family and with my wife. And I am a completely different person when I am comfortable and when I'm feeling like there is safety.
When I don't feel safe, I shut down. I don't know what to say. I'll turn on the role of being a listener. I think that's one of my strengths too, is being really good at listening to what other people are saying. But if I don't feel safe, that's what I'm going to default to. I'm not going to lead a conversation. I'm not gonna be able to express my feelings the same way.
So really, being safe and secure is all about, again, like, listening to my body and knowing kind of what it's telling me in the moment. You know, listen for your heartbeat, feel the racing thoughts, and feeling anxious about things.
Amy: I think for me too, safety and security looks like being able to be who you are right now as you are, and know that you have people who have your back and see you and value you and love you like that. But it also is the ability to change and feeling safe and secure. And, you know, tomorrow you may be a different person. 15 years from now, something may be different. And so you, you can be who you are right now and you can evolve and change into someone else. Then that's just part of the human experience. And that's beautiful.
Matthew: Our time’s almost up. I’m about to send you back out into the world. So let’s take a moment to consider how we can use this knowledge we gained together to help look out for the people with whom we share this world: our friends, our classmates, our family, our community.
Amy? Josh? Are there any actions that we, the listeners, can take (whether as introverts or extroverts) to help others understand our needs better?
Amy: Yeah, that's a big question. I think part of it starts with just awareness. So whether it's our book or someone else's book, learning about the other side. And that's something I really hope people take away from this is, this is not “Introversion is right and extroversion is wrong” or “Extroversion is right. Introversion is wrong.” This is, we're a complete circle and we need those people.
And I think one of the most meaningful pieces of feedback that I've heard so far is from a parent who said, I have, I think three kids and two of them are super extroverts and I bought this book to help them understand the sibling who's an introvert.
And so I think the more we can do to just learn and appreciate each other. That's a huge part of the equation and also a challenge to the adults out there to see the kids in your life where they're at.
And we talk a little bit in the end of the book, there's some suggestions, but you know, if you're a teacher not leaving the feedback, like, “Hey, grow a thicker skin” or, you know,”Speak up more in class”, but finding alternate ways of how can kids contribute in a way that makes sense for them. How can they be part of an interactive learning experience? What are the things you can do as a leader to help support everybody wherever they fall on the spectrum and make them feel like they're part of something rather than I have to change who I am to really be succeeding?
Josh: I think it can be really scary to do this, but finding somebody that you trust to share, like, “Hey, I don't feel comfortable doing that. Is there, is there a different way we can do this, perhaps?” You know, thinking of, like, class in particular, as Amy mentioned, like, maybe I can write something instead of raising my hand.
Cause there's just so many ways to be human, and there needs to be so many ways to share our feelings and our thoughts and our ideas. And sometimes it's just really limited. I think it's just the job.
Our job as grown ups is just to make sure that our kiddos have the opportunities they need to thrive exactly as they are. So just finding, being really attuned to what does my kid need right now? Or what do I need right now? And how can I, how can I make that happen for them or for myself?
[CLOSING]
Matthew: Thank you to Amy Taylor and Josh Maynard, co-authors of A Kids Book About Being an Introvert, for joining us today.
A Kids Book About: The Podcast is written, edited, and produced by me, Matthew Winner. Our executive producer is Jelani Memory.
And this show was brought to you by A Kids Co.
Follow the show wherever podcasts are found and check out other podcasts made for kids just like you by visiting akidsco.com.