Angela Frazier , author of A Kids Book About Suicide, talks about the relation between mental health and suicide and reminds us of the importance of knowing the truth about yourself and the inherent gift your presence is in this world.
Angela Frazier , author of A Kids Book About Suicide, talks about the relation between mental health and suicide and reminds us of the importance of knowing the truth about yourself and the inherent gift your presence is in this world.
A Kids Book About Suicide (view book)
Full Book Description:
We tend to avoid talking about the things that make us uncomfortable, suicide is one of those topics. A lot of us feel it’s a conversation that’s too much for kids to handle but talking to kids about suicide is a foundational conversation that will equip them for the rest of their lives. This book will help give kids a foundation to begin to understand suicide and start an open conversation with the people in their lives about life and death.
About the Author:
Angela N. Frazier, MPH, is a speaker and mental health influencer. She received her bachelor’s of science in Health Sciences and Communication from Portland State University and holds a master’s in Public Health from UTHealth School of Public Health. In 2017, Angela founded an organization, Sisters in Public Health, to connect all women in public health.
*If you or someone you know is suffering from suicidal thoughts and live in the United States, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by chat or by calling 1-800-273-8255.
*If you want to be on a future episode of A Kids Book About: The Podcast or if you have a question you’d like us to consider, have a grownup email us at listen@akidsco.com and we’ll send you the details.
A Kids Book About: The Podcast
S2 EP025, Angela Talks About Suicide
[INTRODUCTION]
Matthew: A quick note: This episode is about a topic that might be sensitive to young listeners. The content is appropriate for listeners ages 5 and up and does not include explicit or graphic language, but it's probably best to listen to this episode with a trusted adult in case you have questions. (Questions are always a good thing to have!)
If you or someone you know is suffering from suicidal thoughts and live in the United States, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by chat or by calling 1-800-273-8255.
You may also visit their website at suicidepreventionlifeline.org to find help in Spanish, or TTY for Deaf/Hard of Hearing, and for more accessibility options, information, and resources.
Matthew: What is suicide?
Krystyna: Suicide is when you try to kill yourself on purpose.
Angela: Suicide is when someone takes their own life. Suicide is as simple as ending your own life.
It's sometimes a way for people to escape pain or suffering, but it's absolutely not the answer. You should definitely always talk to a trusted adult if you ever are feeling that sadness when it comes to thinking about ending your own life.
Matthew: Welcome to A Kids Book About: The Podcast! I’m Matthew. I’m a teacher, a librarian, and I’m your host. The voices you heard at the top of our show were from Krystyna and Angela.
Each week we talk about the big things going on in your world with a different author from our A Kids Book About series.
Angela: Hi, my name is Angela Frazier. I'm the author of A Kids Book About Suicide.
I am also the founder of a nonprofit Sisters in Public Health. We offer scholarships to college students.
[TOPIC FOUNDATION]
Matthew: Hello, dear listeners. You are in very, very good hands for today’s topic.
I also know that this might not be a topic you’ve discussed at home or at school before. That may mean that the topic is new, but it may also mean that the entire word is new.
Angela begins A Kids Book About Suicide by sharing, “Suicide is when someone dies by taking their own life.
It’s not something that happened to them or that someone did to them.
They did it to themselves.”
Angela: There are two ways that I explain why suicide occurs. One of those being some risk factors in regards to suicide and then also kind of some warning signs.
So risk factors may be childhood abuse. It could be availability of a gun. Kids often experience traumatic events, uh, such as bullying. That's another risk factor there.
And then warning signs. Um, a few of those are things to look out for, right? So a change in, one of your friends, um, eating or sleeping patterns. Maybe they're, uh, withdrawing from your friend group, or even the family members that they normally would hang around, right?
And then also some things to think about is a rebellious or violent behavior, and then neglect of appearance. If they're someone who normally really up keeps themselves,, something to really look at it is if there is that neglect of, uh, physical appearance there.
Matthew: The end result of suicide is death. We will talk a good deal in this conversation about suicide prevention, which means stopping the person from taking an action that will cause their death. But I want to speak to you in clear terms so that our words are understood.
Angela: Suicide cannot be reversed. Suicide is a final act. This is the exact reason why you, you should never, you should never do that.
It leaves so many people with questions and hurt, um, after you are gone.
If you're having negative thoughts, it's just so very important to talk to a teacher, a parent, an aunt… just really any, any trusted adult in your life.
[PERSONAL CONNECTION TO TOPIC]
Matthew: There are many, many people affected when someone dies by suicide.
Angela: Suicide affects everyone who has left here on this earth. I say that because I have lost someone to suicide. Um, I lost my mother to suicide, um, when I was 24 years old.
And although I was an adult at the time, um, it felt the same as I imagine if a kid would lose, um, uh, their parent to suicide. We want our, our parents here forever. Um, and it, it truly disaffected. Anyone and everyone left here. Um, after you,
Matthew: You may not know someone who has died to suicide. I honestly hope you never do. But being aware that suicides occur, that’s something I really respect you for taking on.
So, let’s take a minute to look inward. How does thinking about suicide or victims of suicide make you feel?
You can turn and share with a trusted grownup or sibling or friend. You can share aloud with me or share with yourself. You can also just reflect, and listen to others as they share.
Krystyna: Suicide makes me feel like I’m not good enough for this world, and that people would be better off without me here.
Angela: You know, it makes me feel honestly, you know, sad because I know that there is such an eternal pain that nobody else can really truly understand.
You know, I often times… I remember in the beginning I used to have a lot of frustration and anger towards my mom, because “How, how could you?” That's how I felt.
But, as I've, as I have dug deep within the mental health community, I've learned that someone is who takes their own life is really they're really suffering. There's a lot of pain associated there. Again, not the, not the route to go, but I have for, I have forgiven her for, for that act.
Matthew: Before we go to break, a reminder about how to get help for yourself or for a loved one who is struggling with suicidal thoughts.
Angela: You can get help and you, you, you should reach out for help. There, there is, there's always help available. You know, again, I recommend talking to a trusted adult, um, in your life, a trusted, a trusted friend, but if there is, uh, someone who was really struggling with, um, suicidal thoughts, there is a national helpline available and that is a 1-800-273-8255.
Matthew: We’ll be back with Angela Frazier, including the relationship between mental health and suicide, when we return.
[BREAK]
Matthew: Welcome back to A Kids Book About: The Podcast. On today’s episode we’re talking about suicide with A Kids Book About author Angela Frazier.
Suicide is referred to in lots of different ways. Sometimes these words or phrases are an attempt to avoid use of the word “suicide” or to say something that feels less harsh or difficult. These are called euphemisms.
A euphemism is a milder or less harsh, less direct way of saying something.
Instead of saying the word “suicide”, one might say the person “ended it all” or “took the easy way out” or “died by their own hand”.
As with many sensitive topics, the language we use when referring to the topic has value in how what we’re trying to say is conveyed.
Angela: I don't mind saying suicide, but I don't say committed. And I don't say, I don't say “committed suicide” because, um, um, it sounds like it's a crime, you know, it, you know, the word committed very much, you know, it was like, you know, someone committed robbery, they committed a murder.
Suicide is an act against yourself and it, it, and it, it puts a crime there instead of what it truly is. And it's a mental illness, it's a, it's a, it's a health issue. Um, and, and so I really am cautious about my words when I talk about suicide.
So take, take “someone took their own life”. “Someone died by suicide”. You'll hear me say that. Um, but I, I do not use “committed”. A lot of people who are in this world of mental health advocacy will do not use the word committed.
It takes a little learning and education. You don't know what you don't know.
[LISTENER QUESTION]
Matthew: 12-year-old listener Krystyna shares this question:
Krystyna: A question that I have about suicide is how can I prevent those thoughts from happening?
Angela: Good question, Krystyna. Prevention is so super important, so I'm glad you asked, you know, “How could you, how could you prevent that?”
And a couple of things I think about... so, if you're someone who prays, um, maybe, maybe you don't, you don't pray currently, but, you can always start praying.
You can, you can write and say positive affirmations out loud. It’s really important to speak positivity, positivity over your life. And, um, even when I have those negative thoughts, I just say, “Nope, Nope, not today.” So, I'm immediately trying to stop yourself from going down that negative path, I would say.
But know that you also aren't alone in those thoughts. Many people experienced this, but just never act on it. But we all have, have thoughts. You know, we have hard days and hard moments and experience different things in our life that make us think negative about the world or about ourselves.
But I just say remember that you are just loved by so many people. And do not let your mind trick you into, into thinking anything less.
Matthew: Sometimes our thoughts can be really loud and overpowering. A Kids Book About Suicide has a number of spreads where just a single phrase is written across the pages, such as “It’s Not Your Fault.” “Your Life is Worth Living.” “You are Here for a Reason.” and “You are Not Alone.”
Each word, of course, is here for a reason, too.
Angela: Yes, it is. It is so common for our minds to go down those rabbit holes. It just really is so important to know the truth about yourself.
And my therapist recently just challenged me to write out the narrative for my life, you know? Write off the truth and and make sure you do that in a good, in a good positive space, you know, where you can, you can write down, “Okay.” “Angela is smart” and “Angela's educated” and “Angela is an author”. And, uh, just all these really awesome things because a lot of times we just forget. Life, it moves so fast and at least that's when you're, when you're an adult, like myself, you have a resume. And we, often times, you know, just kind of forget what all has led up to where we are, where we are today in life.
And we need those reminders and sometimes we just don't see, see it clear. But you know, if you don't, if you can't clearly see it, ask the people in your life that love you.
If I did a survey with my friends and family, I know there would be glowing reviews about me, but sometimes we just forget and sometimes we don't, we don't believe it at times. But writing it down and reading it in those, in those moments, it's it really is helpful.
Matthew: Angela comes to A Kids Book About by way of a friend and fellow author.
Angela: Yes. My goodness. So I actually, my previous boss, Rebecca Alexander, did A Kids Book About Body Image.
And so it was, it was just as simple as that one day we were talking and, and I didn't, wasn't even thinking. Well, I I've always thought about being an author, uh, but we were just chatting in general and, um, She just was saying how she was just getting ready to launch hers.
And she actually sent it to me before it was published, you know, the manuscript and stuff like that were really, really close. So she sent that my way and I was like, oh, I just love this. And she said, you know what? I just need to come back to you and Jelani because you actually should be doing the suicide book.
And I'm like, I was like, well, that's, that's a pretty, you know, that's a pretty like tough topic. And, you know, he, he would, him and, you know, as an organization will have to be. Um, you know, uh, some challenging books and at the time, I didn't know that, you know, they were, they were already, you know, in the game with, you know, doing, doing challenging, challenging books and, um, Jelani was game.
And immediately we got on the phone call. I got to chat to him. He's the organization. So big now he probably has somebody else who they chat with now, but I got to chat with Jelani and, uh, and also got to sit down and write it with him and one other person. And it. Such an awesome experience. Um, yeah, it was, it was just amazing.
And it has continued to be amazing.
Rebecca also is the person who, so I worked with her, she was my boss. I lost my mom at the time I was working under her.
And when there was an opportunity to name the shelter, there's five homes named in honor of my mom, Rebecca called me and she said, “Hey, we have a shelters that we're going to be naming soon and we're opening them up under Bradley angle.” And she actually, uh, you know, she's the one who proposed naming those shelters after my mom and now I'm literally the president of this organization.
Matthew: What a terrific full-circle connection! Before we let Angela go, I want to come back to what actions we, each of us, can take if we know that someone is struggling with thoughts of suicide or if we ourselves are struggling with thoughts of suicide.
Here’s Angela.
Angela: So if someone is. You know, first off, where I always tell people that “You are no one's counselor or therapist”. What I mean by that is, you are to offer resources. So, like, the hotline mentioned, um, the National Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. Please do recommend that.
Also, there's support. So there is the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and also the National Alliance for Mental Illness.
But if someone's having a bad day and you can kind of, you can kind of gauge typically, um, if somebody more is in crisis and they're talking about the plans and they have the means to take their own life, that's a 9-1-1 situation.
But if someone is just… they're going through a tough time, and we all will at certain times, I just encourage you to, to listen. Let them know that they're not alone and also encourage them to just take time and treat themselves.
We move so fast through life that sometimes we just forget, like, “What does it mean to just treat Angela?” And, you know, treating Angela can be, it doesn't have to be expensive. It could be a bubble bath. Take you back to your child, you know, your childhood. You know, you can., my goodness, you know, do something fun with it. Get your, get your nails done. Go to the movies, you know, with friends. Things like that, uh, that doesn't have to be expensive, but just reminding them that, you know, you know, treat yourself, you know?
Self care is not selfish.
[CLOSING]
Matthew: Thank you to Angela Frazier, author of A Kids Book About Suicide, for joining us today. And thanks to our very special kid voices for contributing to this episode.
Krystyna: My name is Krystyna. I am 12 years old, and my favorite thing is anime and Roblox.
Matthew: Want to be on a future episode of A Kids Book About: The Podcast? Write to us or record a message and email us at listen@akidsco.com.
A Kids Book About: the Podcast is written, edited, and produced by me, Matthew Winner, with help from Chad Michael Snavely and the team at Sound On Studios. Our executive producer is Jelani Memory. And this show was brought to you by A Kids Podcast About.
Follow the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever podcasts are found and check out other podcasts made for kids just like you by visiting akidsco.com.