Ben Kenyon, author of A Kids Book About Gratitude, talks about gratitude as a superpower, the importance of taking action, and how to show appreciation, even in tough moments.
Ben Kenyon, author of A Kids Book About Gratitude, talks about gratitude as a superpower, the importance of taking action, and how to show appreciation, even in tough moments.
A Kids Book About Gratitude (view book)
Full Book Description:
This book explores what it means to be grateful. Not just for the big things like birthday parties and iPhones, but the small things like dinner, a cozy bed, and a sunny day. This book doesn’t teach kids how to pretend like everything is always ok, but to change their perspective to live bold, influential, and authentic lives.
About the Author:
Ben Kenyon is a podcaster, influencer, Founder/CEO of Great Day Squad, and Portland Trail Blazers Performance Coach. He lives in Portland Or, and tries to live generously and with gratitude every day.
*If you want to be on a future episode of A Kids Book About: The Podcast or if you have a question you’d like us to consider, have a grownup email us at listen@akidsco.com and we’ll send you the details.
A Kids Book About: The Podcast
S2 EP09, Ben Talks About Gratitude
[INTRODUCTION]
Matthew: What is gratitude?
Naya: Gratitude is being thankful and appreciating the little and big things in life and the people.
Anya: Gratitude is appreciating things you have. It’s really just appreciation and thankfulness, but people use it towards things they have, things they’re able to have like family or shelter.
Ben: Great question. Um, my definition of gratitude is just to show appreciation towards people, places, or things, or experiences, opportunities.
To show appreciation.
It's super simple to say “thank you”, to say “that's a blessing that I have now”, to say, “Hey, this is an opportunity that I didn't have before.” But I think gratitude is just expressing, you know, love and an appreciation of that thing, that person, place, or thing.
Matthew: Welcome to A Kids Book About: The Podcast! I’m Matthew. I’m a teacher, a librarian, and I’m your host. The voices you heard at the top of our show were from Naya, Anya, and Ben.
Each week we talk about the big things going on in your world with a different author from our A Kids Book About series.
Ben: Hi, my name is Ben Kenyon. I am the CEO and founder of Great Day Squad. I'm an NBA performance coach. I'm an inspirer, a motivator, a podcaster, um, just an overall enthusiastic human being.
I'm the author of A Kids Book About Gratitude.
[TOPIC FOUNDATION]
Matthew: Gratitude. Appreciation. Thanks.
What does it look like to express gratitude?
Ben: Yeah. Um, a couple of different things I think about, you know, our parents, right? Um, like giving them a hug and just saying like, “Hey, I love you.” during that hug. Like, I really want to make sure that you hear it, but also receive it.
So making sure that if there's an animal, right, if there's a dog that's around or a cat or whatever, like give that cat, dog, whatever it is, um, a really strong hug to show appreciation again.
Or even just taking a moment just to write down in your journal, like, “man, I really appreciate the pancakes I had this morning. I really appreciate you that you made the pancakes this morning.
I just, I think it's super important to figure out other fun ways to express it that are bigger than, or more than just being verbal. You know, the verbal piece is huge, but action means everything.
Matthew: “Action means everything.” I love that.
Ben shared a story with me that’s all about action and appreciation.
Ben: This is my barber. He just told me this last week.
The son was supposed to stay in the house after he got back home from school. I think he was about eight or nine.
And when the dad was coming home, he saw his son outside. Right. His son got stuck outside because he locked himself out and he was so mad. And he was like, “Dude, I told you to stay inside. But he goes, “Dad, I was just trying to take out the garbage because I wanted to do my part. I wanted to show appreciation for what it is that I thought I needed to bring to this family. And I saw you doing it. I see mom asking you to do all the time, so I want it to help you out.”
So again, it was an interesting moment, but, all he was trying to do was show appreciation by taking the trash out.
Matthew: We can show gratitude through our words of appreciation. We can show gratitude by performing acts of service. Expressing gratitude isn’t limited to the times when we’re really, really happy. It’s different from that.
Ben: Gratitude doesn't always happen when amazing moments are happening. It's not always a ”positive thing”. What I mean by that is something bad could have happened. You know? A loved one could have been lost, right?
This moment of gratitude can now be, “Hey, I want to make sure that this person starts to feel better or it gets on the path to feel better during this tough setup. And here it is maybe a cup of coffee, maybe a hug. It may be words of affirmation.
I think it's super important to understand that gratitude isn't this, this fluffy thing that's always, that's only used during positive times, right? It's used during positive and negative times. And it's so, so important to make sure that you recognize how you want to be able to express it. And how people actually love to receive it.
Matthew: All this talk about gratitude. I don’t know about you, but just talking about it puts my head and my heart in a good place. Do you know what I mean?
How does thinking about gratitude or expressing gratitude make you feel?
Naya: Thinking about gratitude makes me feel like I should appreciate the stuff I have and the people I have in my life.
Anya: Mostly happy, because I know I can be thankful for things I have, like my family and friends. But sometimes it makes me sad because some people don’t have the things I have, and they can’t be thankful for those things.
Ben: Oh man. So blessed. I've been able to accomplish a lot in life, which I'm so grateful for all the amazing human beings that have helped me get to this space.
Matthew: We will be back in a minute with Ben Kenyon, and more talks on adapting daily gratitude practices. Stick around.
[BREAK]
Matthew: Welcome back to A Kids Book About: The Podcast. On today’s episode we’re talking about gratitude with A Kids Book About author Ben Kenyon.
And gratitude is something we often first learn because it is modeled for us. Others show us gratitude in their actions and in their words, and we learn from them.
Ben: You know, I think back to when my mom when I was younger, she just put me in everything. Like the Karate Kid, you young folks out there may not understand or know what this is, but the karate kid was like this special movie from back in the day where, um, Mr. Miyagi was teaching Danielson how to just be a better person overall during the movie. And it wasn't just about karate.
And I remember walking away from that movie, like, “Mom! I want to do this.’ And she found a karate school and she sent me right to it. And then I was like, “Mom, I really want to do… I want to play soccer.” She found some soccer schools and sent me right to those soccer camps.
And, and so I think about, um, how amazing my parents were and being able to help me stay focused and discipline, and then all the other cool things that have kind of come along the way, um, from, from just receiving, um, or having the ability to work with some of the best athletes in the world, you know, working in the NBA as a performance coach.
It's pretty incredible, right. To be able to now, um, help, you know, some of the top influencers in the world, uh, be influential, um, continue to actually show up and show out, um, the way they know how to. So it's, there's all these cool things that have happened to me over my life. And so I think the way I like to actually look at gratitude right now is just saying, “Hey dude, I'm so blessed. And I'm so thankful for all the people that have given me the ability to be here today.”
Matthew: So, we learn gratitude by watching it happen through others, but would we do it on our own if no one taught us? Is gratitude a trait we’re born with? Or do we need to be taught how to express gratitude?
Ben: You know what. Um, I think innately, um, you know, we were born and we're kind of selfish. It's, it's a thing, right? We need like, we, we need food. We need people to take care of us.
And at one point it's on our parents and all our people that are closest to us to just show us little signs, right. Because actions do speak louder than words, especially when you're a baby, because you're going to now. The things that you see. And so I think it's important for us to start the learning process early.
And that's what I actually love about A Kids Book About set-up is just like you're actually trying to start conversations way earlier, um, in, in also start habits where they start routines that are going to allow these young folks to grow up with, um, having that ability to express gratitude, um, and, and understand that, all right, this is how we should continue to move forward versus maybe…
When I was first born, it was all about me, which is super important. And you are a human being. You are very valuable to the world and you should care about yourself, but there's a moment where you do need to be able to express outward and say, all right, this is something that, um, isn't just happening because of me.
Matthew: Before there was a book about gratitude, there first was a conversation over coffee between Ben and A Kids Co founder Jelani Memory.
Ben: Yeah. You know what, man, I'm going to start off with how grateful I am for Jelani Memory. He's an amazing human being. Um, when we sat down at, I think it was Heart Coffee and he presented his kids book about racism and just, you know, um, shared with me, um, the intent of it, the purpose of it. And he wanted to be able to have a better conversation with his kids and, and, and really be able to now, um, have that journey about racism, be something that they really understand at an early age, so that they don't have to learn it from somewhere else and then come back home with it. They can learn it from people at home and then kind of go outside to learn a little more.
I thought that was really cool. I thought that was actually amazing. And that was one of the big reasons why, um, I, I jumped all in, um, to write A Kids Book About Gratitude because, um, again, the conversation is so important.
There are things that, um, as an adult, uh, that I wish I knew when I was little younger.
I feel like if there were conversations that were set up, because again, I think these books are amazing setups to start the party. You might start off in the book and it may go somewhere else because I love kids. They have so many. Right. And so now this brings up a lot of questions that they may have, that you can have at the dinner table that you can have when you're ride to school.
You can have, when you're walking the park, um, I believe that this is an amazing setup, um, for, for our future, right? Our future is going to end up having, um, a lot brighter, um, leaders because, you know, they started the conversations way earlier.
[LISTENER QUESTION]
Matthew: 12-year-old listener listener Naya was considering a world without gratitude when they sent in this question:
Naya: A question I have about gratitude is how sad would life be without gratitude?
Matthew: That question made me think of a line in the book where Ben writes, “But everyone knows, every superpower has a flaw… some impossible crushing weakness… just like Superman’s kryptonite, gratitude’s flaw is distraction.”
Gratitude is a superpower, and in its absence, something changes.
Ben: Understanding. Um, good things or bad things can happen.
Distractions can happen, um, but you still have to be able to use that gratitude muscle, that superpower that you have. Um, it's super important just because life is full of distractions. It's full of obstacles and challenges. Um, that's one thing that I think, um, children have maybe have not yet experienced as much as adults have.
Just because you know, these random obstacles are gonna come and if you have not yet built that gratitude. Um, understanding it's not going to be easy to actually utilize it when it's time to actually put it to use.
So, understanding distraction, just knowing that, um, something doesn't go your way. Maybe you don't get the pancakes you wanted that morning because you don't have the pancake mix. Maybe you don't get to go out there and, and participate in an event that you wanted to participate in because you had a family event that you had to actually go be a part of.
Things happen. Those are distractions. Right? They can be, they can be derailing distractions, which knocked you all the way off, or they can be amazing lessons to now teach you about how to actually be grateful during tough moments.
And I think that's where the superpower comes in. I think that's where the coolness comes in because now you're looking at this moment to say, “All right, there's something I'm supposed to learn from this. Maybe it's practicing some discipline or focus, maybe it's just saying, alright. Um, instant gratification? That isn't the thing.
“I know. I said I wanted it and I feel like I deserve it, but maybe not right now, maybe later on.” Right. And that's the thing that I want, um, children and adults to get from this is just understanding that, um, when distractions do occur, these are amazing lessons that you can now utilize, um, as a strength at one point or as an experience.
And now. Um, your gratitude muscle be used a lot more, a lot more efficiently.
Matthew: The best way I can think to strengthen that gratitude muscle, just like any exercising habit, is finding the right routine.
And Ben? He’s all about conditioning and strength-building through routine.
Ben: Yeah. You know, I love some action steps. That is my thing. Um, so I want you to, to do it ex do actually what I just said, reframe it. Right. So let's look at this as a, um, as a muscle, as a weak muscle, right?
It's something that we have to learn over time. Something that we have to build over time. I'm a strength coach. I'm a performance coach. So I'm always going to kind of refer back to, um, the body. Um, so as we look to build our gratitude muscle, um, and practicing it, it's, it's waking up every day and saying, “What is the one person place or thing that I'm most grateful for today?”
And then the second question that I want you to write down so that you write that answer down first. And then the second question I want you to answer is “why”. And just get one answer.
Why. Why am I so grateful for my mom? Because when I was an intern at Florida sleeping on the floor, she paid my rent that allowed me to now, um, thrive as an intern and not have to worry so much about, um, if I was going to have a roof over my head, which was huge. Which I mean, again, wouldn't be here today without that opportunity that my mom blessed me with.
So I would love if you could wake up every day and, and build that gratitude muscle and just write down one thing, one person place or thing that you're most grateful for, and then why you're grateful for them.
If you can do that over a few weeks, over the next few months, over the next year, um, put it all into a jar and then look back, you know, again, when you're having those tough days. Paul went out and just look at it and be like, man, that happened. And you forget sometimes because you kind of get caught in the sauce and just the, um, you get caught on the fast track of life of like going, doing, doing, doing, doing, um, that's the thing that, again, I want you to go out there and do, but don't forget to reflect on the things that you were able to accomplish, the things that you were able to be blessed with and show gratitude towards it. Show appreciation towards that.
Matthew: Listeners, I hope that you find your gratitude and you claim it as your superpower. I hope that you find those words and those actions you can do for you and the words and actions you can do for others to show appreciation, thanks.
And as we end our time together today, I hope these words from Ben carry you through your whole week.
Ben: Gratitude isn't about always being positive. It's about being able to, to, to fight your way through the tough moments. It's about being able to show appreciation to two amazing things that you've been able to receive in your life.
And it's for you to practice as much as you possibly can, because other people around you? They see your actions, they hear your actual, or they hear your words and you're the leader. You're the person that's now going to set the tone for the people that are around you.
So again, believe and understand that gratitude is something that is a lot more powerful than you just expressing it. It's a, it's a, it's more of a ripple that will affect so many people across the world.
[CLOSING]
Matthew: Thank you to Ben Kenyon, author of A Kids Book About Gratitude, for joining us today. And thanks to Naya and to Anya for contributing to this episode.
Naya: Hi my name is Naya. I am 12 years old. And I live in Maryland. My favorite thing to do is horseback riding.
Anya: My name is Anya. I am 13 years old, and I live in Maryland. My favorite hobby is to play video games and I also like listening to music.
Matthew: Want to be on a future episode of A Kids Book About: The Podcast? Write to us or record a message and email us at listen@akidsco.com.
A Kids Book About: the Podcast is written, edited, and produced by me, Matthew Winner, with help from Chad Michael Snavely and the team at Sound On Studios. Our executive producer is Jelani Memory. And this show was brought to you by A Kids Podcast About.
Follow the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever podcasts are found and check out other podcasts made for kids just like you by visiting akidsco.com.
Join us next week for a conversation about being transgender with A Kids Book About author Gia Parr.