Gia Parr, author of A Kids Book About Being Transgender, talks about the impact of gender roles, working with the GenderCool Project, and how to ensure we create a safe space for everyone.
Gia Parr, author of A Kids Book About Being Transgender, talks about the impact of gender roles, working with the GenderCool Project, and how to ensure we create a safe space for everyone.
A Kids Book About Being Transgender (view book)
Full Book Description:
People often ask, what does it mean to be transgender? The truth is there isn't one answer. Gender is uniquely beautiful, and each person's experience is individual to them. But at its core, it’s all about knowing who you are and having the courage, freedom, and support to live life being your truest self.
About the Author:
Gia Parr is a high school senior and high-honors student of color. She is an influencer and advocate intent on using her voice to progress the rights of all communities. Gia helped launch GenderCool, a positive storytelling campaign turned global movement led by more than a dozen Champions. These young leaders are evolving understanding by showing the world who they are.
*If you want to be on a future episode of A Kids Book About: The Podcast or if you have a question you’d like us to consider, have a grownup email us at listen@akidsco.comand we’ll send you the details.
A Kids Book About: The Podcast
S2 EP10, Gia Talks About Being Transgender
[INTRODUCTION]
Matthew: What does being transgender mean?
Gia: I mean, I think it is like a pretty big label, I guess? I mean, like in simple terms, I would say it's how someone identifies. For example, coming out and as like a trans person or like a trans woman, trans man, stuff like that. I think that's the most simple term for it.
But I think that all trans people are different. Like so many other people and everything. Like no two people are the same.
So I think that being transgender, um, on the outside, it's more of like an identity, but inside it can mean so many different things. I mean, for me, it's just one small part of me. I identify in so many more ways with like my hobbies, my passion, schoolwork, stuff like that.
Those are ways that I identify myself and how I like present myself in the world. Being transgender is just one small part of that.
So for me, it is some it's simply as my identity.
Matthew: Welcome to A Kids Book About: The Podcast! I’m Matthew. I’m a teacher, a librarian, and I’m your host. The voice you just heard was from Gia.
Each week we talk about the big things going on in your world with a different author from our A Kids Book About series.
Gia: Hi, my name is Gia. I use she/her pronouns and I would say I kind of very like an energetic person. I mean, that's how I'd introduce myself.
I'm very extroverted. I'm out there. I love to like, be like doing things all the time, stuff like that. Um, I identify as mixed race, so I'm really like proud of that and everything. And I am the author of A Kids Book About Being Transgender.
So I do also identify as a trans woman and I'm just super proud of that.
[TOPIC FOUNDATION]
Matthew: Gia comes to us from the GenderCool Project, a youth-led movement bringing positive change to the world. The Champions, as the involved youth are called, are helping replace misinformed opinions with positive experiences meeting transgender and non-binary youth who are thriving.
The word “transgender” may be new to you, and that’s okay.
Gia: It can mean so many different things for so many different people.
Mostly though it means you don't identify with the gender you were born with. And I would say for most people, that's like kind of the common theme. They feel uncomfortable like in their body or the way they're presenting to the world.
Matthew: You may also hear individuals use the term “cisgender.” Though, how individuals use “cisgender” can also vary.
Gia: I think that's also a word for people who aren't out yet or whatever, and like, or just identify as the gender they're born with.
So I think in simple terms, it is the word cisgender.
Matthew: I think it’s important we come back to something Gia said a moment ago. She said that the term transgender can mean so many different things for so many different people.
But also that, in her opinion, most people have experienced feeling uncomfortable in their body or the way they are presenting to the world.
Not feeling like you dress the way the world expects you to dress… or wear your hair the way the world expects you to wear your hair… or love certain colors or shows or hobbies? That’s something I bet each and every one of you have experienced.
Have you heard people use the word “norm” before? It sounds like the beginning of another word you’ve heard a lot: normal. A norm is something that’s usual or typical or standard. It’s what you expect to see or to feel.
Being nervous on your first day at a new school is a norm.
Growing taller year after year of childhood is a norm.
And even the expectations for how you and your classmates behave in school? Those are norms.
There are also norms around gender.
Gia: I would say gender roles are kind of the roles that society creates, like for certain genders or whatever. And I don't think that anyone has to follow those specific gender roles, but for example, like you would say like, “oh, like girls play with like Barbies and stuff, like, when they're younger. Like, “boys play football.
I feel like those can be like seen as gender roles in society and stuff. And like, personally for me, I identified with more like female gender roles and. I would, yeah, I would say like, it's pretty simple. I mean, like gender roles, it's kind of like the, like more like male dominated interest or like female dominated interest, stuff like that.
Gender roles are what you gravitate to.
Matthew: It can be frustrating, can’t it? Our world seems to revolve around two choices. Two boxes. And if you’re not all-in on one box or the other box, it confuses people. Like… they just don’t know what to do because you’re going against all the things they’ve been used to for years and years.
You are going against their norms.
Gia: Yeah. I think gender has a huge part in who we are and everything. And I think on a daily basis, like if you just walk around the mall, for example, you can see that there's like a lot of stores that are more like female-centered or male-centered. A lot of like friend groups will be like, all male or all female.
And that way, gender roles are very prominent in our lives. Like they're constantly there.
And I would say things are definitely changing a lot, but those gender roles are still present. Like there's always, there's normally like a men's and women's sides to things like in like a clothing store or something going to the bathroom.
And for me, I would say like, those gender roles kind of made me uncomfortable when I, before I came out, because it felt incorrect for me. I wanted to. Um, do like those things that other females didn't stuff like that. I wanted to hang out with the girls and everything. And like those more female gender roles made me happy.
And that's like, kind of like what I was getting towards, like when I came out.
Matthew: We will be back in a minute with Gia Parr and the GenderCool Project. Right after this quick break. Stick around.
[BREAK]
Matthew: Welcome back to A Kids Book About: The Podcast. On today’s episode we’re talking about being transgender with A Kids Book About author Gia Parr.
There’s a passage in A Kids Book About Being Transgender that I feel like could be on a poster in every classroom and every school in the world. Gia writes, “Sometimes who we are is different from what people think.”
That’s great, isn’t it?
[PERSONAL CONNECTION TO TOPIC]
Gia: I mean, I feel like I knew since the age of two, but a real defining moment for me was when we had to draw our self portraits.
And I know I mentioned this in the book, um, when like the boys in our class, like drew self portraits of themselves, that your boys and the girls through girls. And for me, I didn't want to draw a boy. I've never liked drawing boys. I'm like, “I only like draw girls”. So I was like, “You know what? I want to draw myself as a girl.”
And I remember getting made fun of that day, like by my other classmates and people were kind of like questioning it in a way. I think people were overall just very confused, like, oh, why is this person doing this?
And, um, for me, I think that was a real, like defining point, realizing like, oh, like as like I'm presenting as a boy right now, um, like these things that I want to do, and the way that I want to present is just not seen as, as acceptable, like, it’s not as common for a boy to want to draw girls, a self portrait, stuff like that. And I think from that point on, I really felt like I had to hide myself because I was trying to like present in more male way. I would say by like, not showing my interest in like girly toys and stuff like that.
Matthew: I'm sorry to hear that you were in a position where you were expressing your true self and other people. They took it differently. Right. They didn't know what to do with it. They were confused or kids, kids are kids. They're questions don't always come from a place of hate. But rather as a, as you said, beautifully from a place of confusion.
Gia: And I would say, like, that was kinda like a common theme, like throughout my childhood and everything, people kind of being confused, like, is that a girly boy? Like what, what is it like, what's going on kind of thing.
And I'm like writing this book, I'm really hoping that it can educate you kids who are like listening to this like podcasts and everything, just so you don't have to feel as confused. So you don't feel like you need to ask those questions and everything.
I'm really hoping this book can answer some of those questions that they wanted to ask, but they might feel a little uncomfortable about stuff.
Matthew: Listeners, I have a question for you. You’ve heard Gia sharing what it was or is like to navigate a world where she felt like she was, at times, going against gender norms and how others expected her to look or like or act.
So I’d like to ask you, how are you feeling right now? How are you connecting with Gia? With her experiences? With what she’s shared?
As you do a self-check and reflect, I asked Gia how being transgender makes her feel.
Gia: I mean, it's definitely, I'm not going to live in like a hard journey overall.
I mean, like when you're not born in the right body and you feel like you have to hide yourself for so many years, it can be such a struggle, but being able to come out as transgender and identifying as that has made me feel so much better about myself. I mean, like, I feel like my world has transformed and opened up.
In my book I talk about how I felt trapped by four walls and a door. And my room was kind of just collapsing in on me. And when I did come out in eighth grade, oh my gosh, my world like totally changed. Like, I feel, it felt like I could go to the mall and like, shop for like whatever I wanted. And it just felt so nice to like finally be myself.
And my parents do say, have a spending problem, but I just making up for lost time. I made those new clothes and it just makes me feel so good to, um, be able to identify this way and everything and identify as like a trend, like a woman of trans experience.
I'm just so glad to be able to identify with that. Kind of being like that light now and have support and everything.
Matthew: Gia has used the phrase “coming out” a number of times in this conversation, and I want to do a quick check-in to make sure that you understand what she means.
When Gia uses the phrase “coming out as transgender” it indicates the first time that she shared with her family or her friends or her school community or the world that she identifies as a transgender individual, which may be different than what others thought previously.
Gia shares more about coming out and what has followed, including connecting with the GenderCool Project.
Gia: So what happened was, my mom came to me like a year after I transitioned and she was like, “Oh, my gosh, I saw this thing on Facebook. And she was like, “you should check it out. It's like, kinda like this organization about like trans kids and everything.”
And I'm like, at first I was like, no, because I do not like doing things that like, I don't like doing negative things, but then when I read more into this, I realized it was different. It shows who trans kids are, and it doesn't focus on like the medical stuff or like the anatomy. And like, it focuses more on like who trans kids are. Like we can be and like what they can become and like how we can kind of like, be anything we want to be. And I really liked that like aspirational aspect of it.
So I remember I was like, “okay, I'll join”. Like, we'll see what happens. And then I get a call like, oh, we're going to be on the Megan Kelly show. And I'm like, huh, like national TV. So that was my first ever experience with advocacy on national TV. It was like so crazy. And then kind of. I've just been like doing work with them and like other organizations too.
And like, I've kind of like, I've seen GenderCool grow and I guess I've helped them grow too in a way. And it's just, I'm like so grateful to be a part of it. And I'm on the board of directors actually. And like, I've mean gender cool. Like for me, like this is lifelong. Like, I mean, like, I feel like I'm so grateful to have this organization to be a part of and to be so close with like the people in it is like a family.
And I'm really, really grateful for that.
Matthew: Listeners, we’ve spent some time together today and I’m going to take a risk here and say that I think I know your heart. I think I know that you care about the people in your life. And not just the ones you know.
I mean the ones you see, too. The ones who look different from you. Or come from different families than yours. They remind you that your story is so important, but it’s also just one story.
You’ve heard Gia’s story today. Now let’s close our time together by hearing ways that we can all work to help make sure that the space we share with others, including transgender individuals, feels safe and accepting to all.
Gia: I think education and support like two words, very simple.
I mean, first off education, like writing this book and just kind of being informed about like the trans community and like the LGBTQ community in general is just so, so important. And I think that teaching kids, like, especially, um, like learning about this stuff at a younger age in a more positive way can really shape our future and like shape the next generation and how they perceive topics like being trans or like being LGBTQ.
And I think overall, like this idea of support? I mean, when I came out, my teachers and administrators were extremely supportive of me and I think that set kind of the standard around the school. Okay. We're going to be supportive of Gia because the teachers who we look up to are supportive of her. And I think that really created a safer space for me and and also having a really strong friend group.
Um, when I first came out, I remember. My school, let me have like a pizza party with like, um, my like friends, like when I came out, it was like super sweet. And they were kind of like the ones who were going to be there for me if like something were to happen or something. And I think like I had like one of those people in almost all my classes.
So kind of like just having like friends with you and having. And having people in your support system is so important. And I think just being there for a trans person or for someone who's coming out, or for someone who's struggling with something is so important because that can get them through a really challenging time.
[CLOSING]
Matthew: Thank you to Gia Parr, author of A Kids Book About Being Transgender, for joining us today. To learn more about the GenderCool Project and how you can support their work, visit gendercool.org.
Want to be on a future episode of A Kids Book About: The Podcast? Write to us or record a message and email us at listen@akidsco.com.
A Kids Book About: the Podcast is written, edited, and produced by me, Matthew Winner, with help from Chad Michael Snavely and the team at Sound On Studios. Our executive producer is Jelani Memory. And this show was brought to you by A Kids Podcast About.
Follow the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever podcasts are found and check out other podcasts made for kids just like you by visiting akidsco.com.
Join us next week for a conversation about community with A Kids Book About author Shane Feldman.