Jackson Cooper, author of A Kids Book About Kindness, talks about how kindness is for everyone, and everyone can show kindness, every day!
Jackson Cooper, author of A Kids Book About Kindness, talks about how kindness is for everyone, and everyone can show kindness, every day!
A Kids Book About Kindness (view book)
Full Book Description:
Do you know what kindness is, really? Do you think being kind to someone means that you’re weak? Do you think you can't be kind to yourself? Here's a little secret…sharing kindness is one of the coolest things you can do! You're never too old, or too young, or too busy to be kind. Anyone can be kind to others, and to themselves, every day!
About the Author:
Jackson Cooper (he/him) is an arts leader and writer based in Seattle, Washington. He has 15+ years of experience working in the arts, producing over 100 live classical music concerts, theater performances, film retrospectives, and chamber music presentations. He holds an MFA from Seattle University.
*If you want to be on a future episode of A Kids Book About: The Podcast or if you have a question you’d like us to consider, have a grownup email us at listen@akidsco.com and we’ll send you the details.
A Kids Book About: The Podcast
Jackson Talks About Kindness
[INTRODUCTION]
Matthew: What is kindness? How do you define it? What does kindness look like?
Max: For me, kindness is being able to be nice to someone without any receiving any reward. Just from the good of your heart.
Jackson: Kindness is helping someone be the best person that they can be. It's something that you can do or receive that is meaningful to you and the person receiving it.
So kindness can be an action like sharing, giving. It can also be a phrase like thank you or I appreciate you. Kindness, to me has always shown up in actions. We will talk a little bit about how it can show up in words, but to me, kindness is this universal feeling of helping someone be the best that they can be and the person that they truly want to be seen as, you know, have their voice heard as you know, just be themselves fully.
Matthew: Welcome to A Kids Book About: The Podcast! I’m Matthew. I’m a teacher, a librarian, and I’m your host.
The voices you heard just a moment ago were from Max and Jackson.
Each week we talk about the big things going on in your world with a different author from our A Kids Book About series.
Jackson: Hi, I'm Jackson Cooper. I am a queer, male writer. And I am the author of A Kids Book About Kindness.
[TOPIC FOUNDATION]
Matthew: Hello, listeners! I love today’s topic. I love it because I know it’s something you show and I know it’s something you notice. We’re going to get into the details of kindness today and my hope is that our conversation helps you to be more intentional with how you demonstrate kindness throughout your day, as well as how you notice kindness happening to you and to others around you.
But first, Jackson used a word in his introduction and I want to make sure we break it down in case you have questions. Jackson introduced himself as a “queer, male writer.”
Have you heard someone use the word “queer” to describe themselves? Here’s what Jackson means when he uses that word:
Jackson: To me queer means that, uh, well, I do identify as, um, as gay on the LGBT spectrum.
And I use the term queer as an empowered word that means that I, that my identity, does not conform to maybe something that is familiar in the society around us. I am Jackson. I am my own self. And I have many different multitudes and identities within me. But I also am a gay person who prefers men. And so I'm very proud to be part of the LGBTQ community.
Matthew: Each of you, dear listeners, is unique. I am sure that statement is not surprising at all to you.
And now that you know a little bit about Jackson, let’s begin digging deeper into kindness. We’ll start with spotting kindness in our world.
What does kindness look like to you? What acts of kindness have you noticed recently in your home or your school or your community?
Turn to a classmate, a friend, a grownup, or whomever might be listening with you right now and share what kindness looks like to you. And if you’re listening to this with headphones or by yourself, you can think your response or you can whisper it aloud to me. I may not be able to hear you, but I promise I am always listening.
What does kindness look like?
Max: Kindness looks like helping out somebody in need when you don't need to. Kindness can happen whenever you want.
Jackson: Yeah, kindness comes in all shapes and sizes.
Words and phrases, big, small, tall, huge. And also just even down to something as simple as like a high five or a good job. Even a phrase like, “Have a great day at school” or “You did great” is a simple, simple way to show kindness,.
But it can also mean something really big and meaningful, which means that you are grasping onto something that you remembered was special to a person or you want to help a person feel special and you bring them up and you pull them up and elevate them, show them that, uh, show others their success or celebrate their talents. It can mean putting someone else before you.
And making that decision to elevate someone's voice and celebrate them, celebrate their accomplishments. Or even for you to take a back seat while someone is being recognized and appreciated for their talents is a big form of kindness.
So it has a huge spectrum and it also means so many different things to so many different people, so many different cultures, and so many different identities. Even the ways that we show up in different settings like school or work or the playground. Kindness shows up very, very differently from place to place.
And yet what we have to just remember is that it can show up in terms of not doing something to help yourself, but to help others. And you also feel good in the process of doing it.
Matthew: Kindness is emphasized a lot in schools. We are reminded to be kind, to show kindness. We’re asked, “Was that a very kind thing to do?” or “Were you being kind when you did that?”
But kindness isn’t a given. We are not all born naturally kind. It’s a muscle that has to be practiced and developed. It’s something that has to be modeled and something that is learned.
Jackson: We all have the ability to be kind within us. Every day we have to decide whether to be kind or not,. Even hour by hour, minute by minute sometimes, but it's something that you're not born with. It's something that you practice. It's something that you are actively choosing to do in the moment every single day.
We're born with the traits of love and compassion for others, like a need to really want to help others and protect the ones we love, but it can be difficult if kindness is not practiced. Kindness stems from love and compassion. And so we're all born with the ability to love and be compassionate, but kindness is the actual putting, uh, an action to that love and compassion for others.
My mom taught my brother, sister, and I, when we were very, very young, that you have to do one kind thing a day to somebody, including yourself, to feel like you've had a really good day. It's kind of like making your bed, though. Like, you have to do it every day to be good at it, right? Or to feel accomplished. My mom would want me to tell you to make your bed every day so that you feel very accomplished.
But if you do it every day, like making your bed, if you do something kind for one person, including yourself every day, it stops becoming a practice and it starts becoming a habit. And then it starts to become part of your lifestyle and your character, and it becomes easier to do. It becomes more natural. And people begin to notice that and they begin to feel inspired to be kind. They begin to choose to say, “Look at what that person is doing. Maybe I will do that in my life” or “I will do that for my friends.”
So it can be difficult for people to be kind because they haven't practiced it as much, or they feel like they need to do it around a special occasion, like a birthday party, or Christmas, or New Year's, or something where they feel like they have to give because there's a big party around it when really every day we all need to choose to be kind to one another because we all are struggling sometimes. And we don't actually know what each other is going through.
And so the thing that we need to choose to be to one another is kind. And the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
Matthew: Let’s take a quick break. And when we return, Jackson will talk about how kindness is a superpower that we can all access.
[PERSONAL CONNECTION TO TOPIC]
Jackson: I grew up with an extremely kind family. Kindness was actually a rule of the household.
And I have parents who still to this day tell my brother, sister and I, when we're navigating adulthood and which is a lot more complex than elementary, middle. or high school, even college, that kindness is the thing that people remember, and it's the thing that. at the end of the day, when your head hits the pillow, you can be very proud of.
Even in the face of bullies and resentment and anger. Even if it's not something you did and it's misdirected at you, if you are kind to people, that's what you're proud of at the end of the day.
And so I knew growing up that kindness was a superpower that my family had. And it was something that I wanted to express to others because I saw a lot of people my age as I was growing up not understanding that kindness was something that you did every day or that you had just had as a core value. And I just wanted to create a book eventually that sort of talked about that.
Matthew: We’ll be back in just a moment.
[BREAK]
Matthew: Welcome back.
Today on the podcast we’re talking about kindness with A Kids Book About author Jackson Cooper.
Kindness isn’t just an act, it’s a feeling. And, listeners, I bet if you took a moment to think about the feeling you get from being kind or the feeling you’ve felt when someone is kind to you, it will bring those feels right back to the surface.
So, how does being kind or receiving kindness feel to you?
Max: I think that kindness makes me feel joyful, and that many people should have it, and that if you don't, that just isn't right, cause kindness is liberty.
Jackson: I feel very warm and fuzzy when I give kindness and when I receive it. I feel an immense sense of, I love this word, gratitude. Just truly being thankful for somebody taking the time to choose to be kind to me.
It takes a moment for me to recognize that, but then for it to really sit as gratitude and to say, “Wow, this person probably has a busy life like me, and yet they chose for a moment to be kind and to say thank you or to congratulate me on something”.
Those little moments we can't take for granted. So I always feel warm and fuzzy. And I also feel very proud when I do something kind. Not as an ego thing, not to be arrogant or to say, “Oh yes, I helped that person”, but to say “That felt good”.
And kindness should always feel good. It should never feel like homework. It should never feel like a chore. You should always make it feel natural. Like, of course I would do something like that. Or of course I would help a person like that because I want to.
So I feel really, really good about that because I get to see that they received the kindness and they recognized it as well.
Matthew: Let me read to you one of my favorite lines from A Kids Book About Kindness.
“Kindness is a choice we make every day with everybody we meet.”
Jackson has touched on this a few times throughout our conversation, but let’s really break down what he meant when he says that kindness is a choice.
Jackson: It takes energy and it takes courage. And to be courage means to be vulnerable, which means we have to sometimes stand before the entire world and open up our hearts to say, “This is what I care about, and this is what I, I think needs to be done. This is how this person needs to be treated, or I need to do this.”
And I feel like everyone has that ability. Oftentimes, though, we are in situations where we can feel pressured to act a certain way, either by our friends, our systems, sometimes maybe our family, and we just want to make the people around us happy.
And to break free of that, to truly be ourselves means to be very courageous. It means you will probably have to stand on your own and be vulnerable and say, “No, I am choosing to be this way. I am going to be kind.”
But kindness at the end of the day is for you, it is all about nurturing the garden of your heart and building up this, you know, community through the choices that you are making. We make thousands of choices every day and oftentimes they're very fast. We make them in a split second. It's not like lunch where we can spend hours thinking about what we're having for lunch. Sometimes we have to make a split decision about picking something up or even just like, am I going to finish homework today or tomorrow? Yes or no.
But that's a choice. Kindness also is a choice. And you have the choice in a situation to be kind to everybody you encounter. So when you choose to be kind to everyone you meet, you make them feel like they're already part of your community, that they feel seen, that they can be themselves.
And I wanted in the book to really emphasize that it's a choice because I saw so many people who chose not to be kind, and I wondered why would somebody be so mean? Why are there bullies in this world? Why are there bullies at every stage of life from child to teen to adults? Why do people choose to be mean. And it's that they are choosing not to be kind.
So we can choose to either be very, very mean or to be kind. And again, as I've mentioned, kindness is shown in a variety of different ways. So it doesn't have to be big and grand. It can just be an affirmation, a thank you, a yes, a I'm here for you. I see you. Um, I, and it, The choice is yours at the end of the day.
Matthew: Our time’s almost up. I’m about to send you back out into the world. So let’s take a moment to consider what kindness looks like, both to give and to receive. And what kindness feels like, both to give and to receive.
Jackson? Are there any actions we, the listeners, can take to demonstrate kindness or to respond out of kindness to others, whether they be family, friends, or people in our community?
Jackson: Try to do one kind thing every day for a person. It could be sharing something. It doesn't even have to be something that you have. It could be knowledge. It could be a fact. It could be how you feel about them in a good way. “Thank you so much for being my friend. I'm so grateful that you're here.” Give something to someone. tell something that you saw, something that they reminded you of them.
I also say when you do that, keep a journal, if you can, a kindness journal, that is what you did and for whom. And write that at the end of the day, but then also under it, write one thing that you did for yourself. And that can be maybe giving yourself some time to do something creative that you want to do or giving yourself the time to go for a walk. But keep a journal of kindness, because after even a week you'll see how much you've touched people's lives. And also how you've become a better person for yourself at the end of it.
Another very tangible thing I like to tell people is handwritten cards are not gone. And so if there is somebody in your life that you want to appreciate or say thank you to, a handwritten card is always good to do and a very kind gesture that people do remember and will keep forever.
So, if you don't want to keep a journal, at least write one or two handwritten cards to somebody in your life who's close to you, who's made a difference, and you'll be a very, a kinder person by doing that.
[CLOSING]
Matthew: Thank you to Jackson Cooper, author of A Kids Book About Kindness, for joining us today. And special thanks to Max for lending their voice to this episode.
Max: My name is Max Asher. I am 11 years old and live in Texas. My favorite thing is swimming, playing soccer, and playing video games.
Matthew: A Kids Book About: The Podcast is written, edited, and produced by me, Matthew Winner. Our executive producer is Jelani Memory.
And this show was brought to you by A Kids Co.
Follow the show wherever podcasts are found and check out other podcasts made for kids just like you by visiting akidsco.com.