Kendall Clawson, author of A Kids Book About Pride, talks about accepting everyone for who they are, finding pride in yourself, and the LGBTQIA+ heroes of previous generations.
Kendall Clawson, author of A Kids Book About Pride, talks about accepting everyone for who they are, finding pride in yourself, and the LGBTQIA+ heroes of previous generations.
A Kids Book About Pride (view book)
Full Book Description:
In June, we celebrate Pride, but what does that mean? Everyone wants to be accepted just as they are, and Pride is all about honoring and encouraging people to be their most authentic selves! To help kids understand the enduring bravery of LGBTQIA+ people, this book includes the story of a moment in history which sparked the fight for freedom and acceptance for this community and beyond—something worth celebrating every day.
About the Author:
Kendall Clawson (she/her) lives in the Pacific Northwest and was the first executive director of Q Center, Oregon’s LGBTQIA+ community center. She currently works in philanthropy and believes community change often comes from unexpected leaders.
*If you want to be on a future episode of A Kids Book About: The Podcast or if you have a question you’d like us to consider, have a grownup email us at listen@akidsco.com and we’ll send you the details.
A Kids Book About: The Podcast
S2 EP11, Kendall Talks About Pride
[INTRODUCTION]
Matthew: What does Pride mean?
Ruby: What I know about pride is when people are proud of who they are, no matter who they love, who they identify as or anything in between. And I think it's great that everybody has a voice, um, to, to show what they believe in what they are and who they love.
Kendall: You know, pride has a lot of meanings to it. There, as you see in the book, there are, uh, parts in there that describe amazing people who have done amazing things.
There are also parts of the story that tell you a little bit about the history of Pride and that while we have a big, wonderful month-long party, it's actually rooted in a movement a time in our history when a group of people felt that they weren't being treated well. And that, that pride is this amazing celebration and it, and acknowledgement of that.
But then there's the personal side for me. There's the part about feeling pride within oneself. So all the things, when you wake up in the morning and you're like, okay, I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna go to school or I'm going to do my chores. And when I do those things, I want to be the best that I can be.
I want to feel like every time I'm doing something. I'm considering other people. I'm considering how I show up in this. And when I say how you show up, not necessarily like I'm getting you in the car and I'm gonna show up at the party, but more like how you are putting yourself out there in the world.
So are you good and kind and thoughtful. So for me, I, I'm trying really hard to live like pride is inside me all the time. And it's my job to make sure that it stays there in a really good, positive, bright, sunny way.
Matthew: Welcome to A Kids Book About: The Podcast! I’m Matthew. I’m a teacher, a librarian, and I’m your host. The voices you just heard at the top of the show were from Ruby and Kendall.
Each week we talk about the big things going on in your world with a different author from our A Kids Book About series.
Kendall: Hi everybody. My name is Kendall Clawson and I identify as a black lesbian woman. And I am the author of A Kids Book About Pride.
[TOPIC FOUNDATION]
Matthew: As mentioned, Kendall is our author of A Kids Book About Pride, a book we made available for free to everyone via our website for Pride Month, which happens every June.
Taking pride in your identity, in who you are, in what experiences or traits or communities make up you, is not always easy to come by. For some people, aspects of their identity are not as loved or accepted by others or, even, by themselves.
Kendall: You know, it's really interesting. I think. All of us experience this sometimes. Um, and it may not be about the kinds of people or the person that you fall in love with.
I think that all of us can relate to this on some level. I know that when. Um, I was young and I was in school that there were people that didn't always get me because I'm a Black woman. And that their experience was, um, that they hadn't had a lot of experience with Black people. So the only thing that they knew about, um, was what either they were told or what they saw on TV. And sometimes that wasn't always the the best or the, the deepest way to, to get to know somebody.
And I think because of our history of, um, not necessarily understanding or, um, agreeing with, uh, how someone chooses to live their life, that we set up a bunch of rules and laws and, and ways of thinking that sometimes shut people out.
And I think, whether you're an LGBTQIA+ person, or just a person living in the world, we all experience when someone makes decisions about who they think we are or how we should be that makes it hard then to say, “Wait a minute, this is actually who I am and it's good and it's okay.”
And so I think sometimes people have a hard time feeling pride if everybody around them says “Who you are is bad.”
But what I'm hoping particularly in this book is that as you're reading it and as you're going about your life, that you can always think there is something magical in every single person that I meet.
And that these big rules that other people have made about what's right or what's wrong, or what makes a good person or not. If we're putting those kinds of bad things out there too often, then all we're doing is hurting people's feelings and making it really hard for them to feel like “I'm super awesome.”
Matthew: Kendall mentioned an acronym there. Did you catch it? An acronym is an abbreviation formed from the initial letters of other words.
Kendall said, “whether you're an LGBTQIA+ person”. Have you heard that acronym before? LGBTQIA+?
Let’s read from A Kids Book About Pride:
“Here’s a little bit about what those letters mean when people use them to identify themselves:
* The Meaning of these words have changed a lot over the years and will continue to change with each generation.
L - lesbian (a woman who is primarily attracted to other women)
G - gay (a man who is primarily attracted to other men)
B - bisexual (a person who is attracted to both men and women)
T - transgender (a person whose gender identity differs from their gender assigned at birth)
Q - questioning (a person who is exploring who they are attracted to) or queer (the LGBTQIA+ community and people with fluid, shifting identities)
I - intersex (a person who was born with traits that are not exclusively male or female)
A - asexual (a person who doesn’t experience attraction to anyone)
+ - The plus sign is for all the other ways people express themselves as well as for LGBTQIA+ allies, who stand up for, support, and encourage members of this community”
Thinking about all of the different ways people can identify makes me also think about how it takes a certain amount of pride and (maybe even bravery) to share those things with others.
Kendall: I feel pride a lot and it's because I had really awesome parents.
My mom and dad were pretty great people and they really, they taught me a lot about the importance of feeling good about who you are and, and that really, you can do anything if you put your mind to it and if you believe in yourself. And honestly, it started because they really believed in me.
And so for me now, I, there are a lot of ways in which I knew and I know that I'm a good person. And then there are other ways that I've had to learn how to be a better person, cuz we all are learning and we will sometimes make a mistake sometimes.
Like, you know, maybe you said something that wasn't that nice or, or, you know, you, you weren't as good of a friend as maybe you could be. And the goal is to learn how to be better. So I'm constantly thinking about what are the ways in which I can always be present to my friends and say kind things about people.
One way that I do this is that if I go to a store and if someone is really great to me and they treat me really well and they do such a super great job, I always make sure I tell them, you know, that “You made my day. This was so great. I really loved our interaction. I'm gonna tell your boss you're amazing, too”, because we just don't do that enough.
So that's one of the ways in which I have pride is that I think I really try hard to care about other people to make sure that people are, are okay. Um, that they can see me as a good friend, that I'm somebody that they can trust.
And I think I learned that from all the really amazing people in my life who said, “This is a good way to be in the world.”
Matthew: Who you are and how you show up for other people contributes in a big way to the pride you feel toward yourself and your identity. As Kendall’s about to share, a good focus is to really pay attention to how you are presenting yourself in the world.
Kendall: You know, I think the best part about this is that all of us have a chance to be great every single day. And so one thing that I always do in the morning is before I get out of bed, I tell myself, “All right, Kendall. Today's gonna be a great day.” Something, as simple as that, that I start my day, setting that up to say, today's gonna be a great day.
Now, maybe I'm still a little sleepy and I'm not quite ready to get up, but if I tell myself “Today's gonna be a great day,” that I have a really good shot at the day being that way, because I've set it up that way. So that's true about everything else.
It's like, I wanna be a good friend. Well, how do you do that? You, listen, you laugh, you share of yourself openly, so you don't keep secrets or don't show who you are. If you're a big goofball and be a big old goofball, because somebody's gonna love that.
Or if you're shy, um, there, I think it's important for people who are shy to actually show that. Shy people are very thoughtful. They're listening,. They're paying attention. They may not be the big chatter box like me, but the things that they say can sometimes be like, “Wow, I never thought of it that way!” And everything doesn't have to have big bells and whistles around it.
So it's really paying attention to how you are presenting yourself in the world, starting from a place of being good and believing in people and believing in yourself.
Matthew: We will be back in a minute with Kendall Clawson right after this quick break. Stick around.
[BREAK]
Matthew: Welcome back to A Kids Book About: The Podcast. On today’s episode we’re talking about pride with A Kids Book About author Kendall Clawson.
Each of our authors comes to us at A Kids Co in their own unique way. And Kendall’s story? It’s one that affirms she’s been waiting to share these words with you, listeners, for a very long time
Kendall: Yeah. You know, uh, I can't tell you how happy I am that I had the opportunity to write this book. And, and I wanna say that on purpose that this was an opportunity and I believe it was an opportunity that was meant for me.
And the reason why I say that is, did you know, I'm gonna tell you a secret. I have always wanted to write a book. I have. I've always wanted to. But you know, much like what we've talked about… I had convinced myself like, oh gosh, do I have the time? You know, it requires all of this discipline. Like you have to sit and put, you know, words down and spend all these hours. And I'm really busy in my life, but it was always this thing that was sort of sitting in the background for me.
And I'm a big believer in, if you really want something, if you really hope for something, then you just have to kind of put it out there that that's what you're dreaming about. So I have dreamt about this and I have. Put it out there that someday I'm going to do that.
And I had a really good friend who works with A Kids Co and he's like, “Hey, have you ever thought about writing a book?” And I'm like, “What, are you kidding? That is all I've been thinking about, but I've just been like, I didn't know how, or how to start or what to do.” And he said, “Let's write a book. Like I think he should write a book.”
And because I've been, um, because I ran Q center, which is a community center for LGBTQIA+ people, I, you know, I, I was in the community and I was doing lots of community driven things. And so I got to meet a lot of amazing people with terrific stories.
And what a great topic to write about. This thing that's always been a part of my life, that I'm surrounded by incredible people who are a part of that community. It's something that I really believe in. And then all of a sudden I'm writing a book and it's coming out really easily because I believe in it. Because it's a part of me. Because it's something that I've been holding for a really long time, and I got a chance to just let it come out.
So this was not only a gift for kids to be able to read a book about Pride, but it was a gift for me to get to do it for you and with you. And, and, you know, think about how the words that we put down on paper might mean something and might make somebody feel really happy and really good about Pride.
And so that's, that is, yeah, it's kind of amazing. It worked out that way and that's how I got here. It was a gift all the way around.
Matthew: Before the break, we talked about having pride in who you are and how you show up in the world.
Now, we’re nearly at the end of our time together. Let’s take a moment to talk about how pride makes you feel.
Here are Ruby and Kendall sharing their own thoughts and feelings.
Ruby: Thinking about pride makes me feel happy and it makes me feel good that people are celebrating who they are and not letting others just define them.
[PERSONAL CONNECTION TO TOPIC]
Kendall: You know, Matthew celebrating pride is, I mean, in a big way, it's a joyous feeling. It's always a really fun time. And I think especially. Now that we've all had this, this big experience of being away from each other, um, that we're, everybody's starting to, to come back out into the world.
And so pride feels extra fun this year, like people are just super happy just to be in each other's company.
But I also I have been around during a time where for the LGBTQIA+ community, it was hard. We went through a time period, much like COVID where there was a, a virus that was going around that was, that was hurting people. And that was killing people. And that there were a lot of people in my life that, um, that died from, uh, from HIV and AIDS. And it wasn't just this virus, but it was something that was very much a part of this community's existence.
You know, it's that thing where on some level, it goes back to that thing that we talked about before, where people had their ideas or their views of who this community is and whether they're good or whether they're bad. And then some people would be really mean about that and assume that because people got sick that they deserved it or that it was a, like something that they, that they got because of who they were.
And so, you know, I, I am aware that this feeling of being accepted and being able to be around people who get you and being around people who love you, even if I don't know, I could be at a parade with thousands of people, but there is this sense of love and caring that we have for one another. That really comes out, during pride that I just remember.
Even when it was hard and people were sick and people were mean about it, that there was still this other thing that happened, which is everybody came together. They came together like friends. They came together like family. They loved one another. They supported one another. They celebrate one another.
And so pride has that wonderful mixture for me that it's a reminder that the work isn't done, that we, um, we still as a, uh, as a community, but then also a community within a lot of other communities. Um, we still have work to do to help people understand who we are and why we're amazing.
And, and the other thing is it also is a reminder on the joyous side of how many incredible, talented, gifted people identify as LGBTQIA+. I mean, you saw some of them in the book. I mentioned, um, you know, Baynard Rustin and Harvey milk. And these are all people that are notable people, but you know, there are also people that are in your everyday lives and some of you might have. Friends and families, you might have moms and dads and aunts and uncles and next door neighbors and other people that are in your life.
And so this is also a time to celebrate all of those wonderful people who are being great all around you and doing amazing things every single day. So we don't have to say, oh, they're wonderful, except for their LGBTQIA+, it's more that they're wonderful and that's all we care about.
Matthew: Oh! Kendall’s mentioning LGBTQIA+ heroes! Yes!
I find, personally, that stepping into my pride often requires looking for those who have come before me. Those great teachers. Those great leaders. Those great mentors.
What a perfect way to end our time together.
Here’s Kendall, sharing some of those important people she thinks about when she thinks about pride.
Kendall: Bayard Rustin is somebody that I am just fascinated by largely because of what I do, you know, in, in my career. Um, you know, I've worked for nonprofits, but I've also worked in politics and in government and, um, It was just so interesting to me because you take a big monumental thing like the March on Washington, you know. It's all about rights for Black people. And I always like to include other people of color, but really this was a, this was about Black people doing the same, um, kind of thing that we're talking about in this book around, um, LGBTQIA+ heroes, um, that they were coming together to say, “We just... We will not be treated like this anymore. We have rights.”
And behind the scenes, and these are, this is an important part. And why I love that. You're getting this through a book because not all books are taught to us in school. And if I think about how I learned about LGBTQ+ people, it wasn't in school. I didn't get like here's George Washington, the first president, or, um, you know, this is the first trip to the moon. Like, there were no classes, there was nothing that said that. And so for you to know that there were other people that were out there doing all of these incredible, heroic things, you had to have people in your life that could convey that.
And so the person that we all connect the March on Washington was Martin Luther King, Jr., which is appropriate. He was the primary leader around that, but the important part for me was that there's always somebody behind the scenes that is responsible for moving incredible things forward, and they may not be known to us. And Bayard Rustin had that and then on top of it, it was because he was a gay man, there was almost like… If I say behind the curtain is Bayard Rustin. Um, I could also say behind the curtain and then another curtain is Bayard Rustin.
So the first curtain was, he was not the primary person, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr was. But he was the organizer behind the curtain. But as a gay man in a community and during a time where people weren't accepting of him, As who he was as a gay man, it was almost like there was another curtain that he was stuck behind and that he was able to pull off the thing that literally brought eyes and ears and focus on a really important issue like the rights of Black people.
And here was this man behind two curtains who pulled that off. So I want him to get credit for that.
The other, um, the other is personal to me. Um, uh, there, uh, was a man in my life named Jay Walker. He was my first mentor. Um, uh, when I was in college, I, uh, was a tour guide for our university. And so I would meet people all the time and he was my boss.
And, uh, he was probably the first out, um, gay Black man that I had ever met. Um, and so he, I was 20. Yeah. I was probably 19 or 20 years old. Um, and he was just so comfortable and I remember feeling like, “Wow. What is that like?” Cuz I was around a lot of people who were embarrassed or felt ashamed of who they were.
And yet he was amazing. He was an incredible piano player. He had a beautiful voice. He was super smart. He held a very big position in a large university and he was just as out and happy and proud and never made me feel like I should keep that secret. And he was really the person that helped me get more comfortable with that, um, with who I was and that it was okay. And he unfortunately passed away, um, uh, many years ago, but, um, he sits in my heart every single day.
Every time I have doubts. And that's the thing. Always keep an eye out for that person that makes you feel really good and hold them in your heart. Because sometimes when you feel bad about yourself, you need somebody in your heart that reminds you that you're good and he does that for me. He really reminds me to just be, just be happy and to be comfortable and confident. And there's no room for shame and there's no room for judgment. Um, and so I'll always keep Jay Walker in my life like that.
[CLOSING]
Matthew: Thank you to Kendall Clawson, author of A Kids Book About Pride, for joining us today.
And thank you to Ruby for contributing you thoughts and knowledge to this episode.
Ruby: Hi, my name is Ruby. I'm 10 years old and I live in California.
To download your free copy of A Kids Book About Pride, visit akidsco.com.
Want to be on a future episode of A Kids Book About: The Podcast? Write to me or record a message and email us at listen@akidsco.com.
A Kids Book About: The Podcast is written, edited, and produced by me, Matthew Winner, with help from Chad Michael Snavely and the team at Sound On Studios. Our executive producer is Jelani Memory. And this show was brought to you by A Kids Podcast About.
Follow the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever podcasts are found and check out other podcasts made for kids just like you by visiting akidsco.com.
Join us next week for a conversation about community with A Kids Book About author Shane Feldman.