Rebecca Alexander, author of A Kids Book About Body Image, talks about how we can celebrate all the things that make us and our bodies unique.
Rebecca Alexander, author of A Kids Book About Body Image, talks about how we can celebrate all the things that make us and our bodies unique.
A Kids Book About Body Image (view book)
Full Book Description:
Each of us has a body that we live in every day. No body is the same size, shape, weight, color, or kind. This book takes the conversation around body image head-on, helping kids not only love their own bodies the way they are but others', too.
About the Author:
Rebecca Alexander is Founder & CEO of AllGo, a community review platform where plus-size people rate the comfort and accessibility of public places so others can know what it’s like before going out.
*If you want to be on a future episode of A Kids Book About: The Podcast or if you have a question you’d like us to consider, have a grownup email us at listen@akidsco.com and we’ll send you the details.
A Kids Book About: The Podcast
S1 EP30, Rebecca Talks About Body Image (R)
[INTRODUCTION]
Ari: What is body image?
Blaine: Um, I don’t really know what body image is, so maybe it’s how people look at me or how I look at myself?
Krystyna: Body image is when it’s how you like look at your body and how you feel about it.
Piper: Body image is the way you feel about yourself or other people.
Rebecca: Yeah. So body image is how we think about our own bodies. We think about specifically how we look and how we feel and how other people see us, and that is—those internal thoughts, those are body image.
Ari: Welcome to A Kids Book About: The Podcast! I’m Ari. My pronouns are they and them. I’m an editor, a researcher, and I’m your host this week. The voices you heard at the top of our show were from Blaine, Krystyna, Piper, and Rebecca.
Each week we talk about the big things going on in your world with a different author from our A Kids Book About series.
Rebecca: Hi, my name is Rebecca Alexander and I am a white queer fat woman who lives in a little town outside of Portland.
Um, with my dog, Lucy,
Rebecca: And I am the author of A Kid's Book About Body Image.
[TOPIC FOUNDATION]
Ari: “Queer” is a word some people part of the LGBTQ or lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender community may use to identify themselves.
Listeners, I’m so excited to have this conversation about body image with you, because, well, it’s been a big part of my life since I was a kid myself. I felt insecure about my body, worried that people were judging me because I am fat or because I can’t run well. As I grew up, I also found a lot of confidence in my body and who I am. Those are both examples that have to do with body image.
Maybe it’s been a big part of your life, too. And you know what? That’s absolutely normal. Because, body image is for everyone with a body.
Rebecca: It is everything that we think about ourselves and ourselves and the way we look.
So it's our size, our shape, our color, our like type of body. So are we muscular or are we slender? Are we, you know, athletic? Or are we, you know, Like soft and squishy. Llike what kind of hair do we have? Do we have straight hair, curly hair, like skin color do we have? Do we have, parts of our bodies that maybe like have been scarred or hurt or injured in her life. Like, do we have parts of our bodies that don't work, were we born with, like things that make us look different from other people?
Every bit about our outside, you know, comprises our body image, our thoughts about every outside part of us compresses our body image.
Ari: One of the coolest things about bodies is that they grow with us as we get older. As long as we live, our bodies are changing, growing, learning along with us. So our journey with body image can change too.
Rebecca: For so many people, like we struggled with it when we were young and by the time we're older, we start to accept ourselves. For a lot of people that's what the journey looks like.
For some people, like they're really happy and confident as kids and they have great body image, but then our bodies change throughout our lives. All of us, like we know this, they change from the time we're born and they don't stop until we die. You can always have like an opportunity to redefine your own body image.
So you can decide, you know, “I'm going to learn to appreciate the new things about my body or the things that are different about my body now” and get healthier body image.
Ari: As you consider your own experience with body image, you might think about the words for your body you want to use. Sometimes people use words to describe someone’s body to hurt them or make them feel less confident. That is never okay! Other times people can take those words that were used as weapons against them and turn them into something different.
Rebecca: I decided to, you know, a long time ago to like, try and think of myself, not as a bad person for being fat.
So why would I think that fat was a bad word? Like that was the conversation I had with myself. And so like, I don't need, um, you know, like oftentimes when we're trying to say something. Like, but we don't want to use a specific word. We come up with other words that are like cutesy or like, you know, um, kind of like they don't make a lot of sense that we call them euphemisms.
And one euphemisms for fat that I've heard people say there are lots of them, but like one that's the funniest to me is fluffy. So you've met a lot of people who were like, I'm not fat, I'm fluffy. And that just makes me laugh. Like I just laugh. I can't call myself a fluffy person. I'm not just that, like, we can just like call it that.
And I don't have to worry about being called fluffy that doesn't make it any different. And it, frankly just makes me giggle. So yeah.
Ari: Talking about body image can bring up some strong feelings for people. Take a moment to really sit with your feelings about your body. If you’re listening with a grownup, try talking about it together.
How does thinking about body image or the way you look, make you feel?
Blaine: Um It makes me feel a little responsible cause I I have to make myself look how I want.
Krystyna: Body image makes me feel sometimes insecure about myself. And sometimes I feel not beautiful.
Piper: It makes me feel good about myself, but I know there are people out there who feel bad about themselves.
Rebecca: This has been a huge struggle, like, um, throughout my life, like mostly because of the messages I got when I was a kid.
You know, I, I live in a fat body and all throughout my childhood, I was told that that is one of the worst things that you can be is a fat person. And so anytime my body changed as a kid and got a little rounder or a little softer, that was really hard for me. Um, and.
I felt really negatively about my body. I felt ashamed of it. And I felt, um, like I wasn't worthy of love or affection from other people. Um, I felt like I. You know, didn't deserve things like cute clothes, you know, and other things that were hard for me to find because of my body size. And it took a lot to, you know, really, um, take a step back and realize that my body is just a part of the diversity of the human species.
You know, like humans are so diverse, there are so many different kinds of us. And one of the, like things that makes our species so great is all of that diversity within our species.
Ari: Some listeners might remember talking about diversity a couple episodes ago with Charnaie Gordan. Diversity means having variety represented in a group. Diversity of bodies includes all of the possible skin colors and tones, physical abilities and disabilities, and shapes and sizes of bodies. All of our bodies are unique—different—and all bodies are good.
Rebecca: And one of the great things about the diversity is our shapes and sizes. So like my best friend is, you know, like a tiny person. And she's been a tiny person. She's like five foot one, and, you know, a very like slender human. And she's also has very dark skin and then there's me. And oftentimes I feel like we couldn't be more different, you know, as like a white lady who's tall and big and yeah.
Like we're both people. And we represent like the diversity that exists within the human species. And so like now at this point in my life, my body, and like the way I think about body image, it's just about like, finding that beautiful diversity and like really thinking about how special it is that like, there are so many different people in our species.
And like, what, that's such an amazing thing. And as we think about, you know, just like on a scientific level, like we know that diversity is such an incredible part of success on like, uh, you know, scientific level. Like if we want our species to succeed in terms of, you know, we want to have more humans, you know, for the rest of history, like who are happy and healthy and are contributing good things to our society.
Like we need all of us and like, I have special skills, you know, and my body does special things that like need to be passed down. Right. Like my traits need to be passed down just like everybody else's. And so. When I think about body image now, I just, I really start to think about diversity and how important, like all those differences are for all of us.
And so I just really celebrate those things that make me unique and the things that I see that are unique in other people.
Ari: Right after the break, Rebecca will share a super important tool when thinking about body image. Plus, she answers a question sent in by you, the listeners.
[BREAK]
Ari: Welcome back to A Kids Book About: The Podcast. On today’s episode we’re talking about body image with A Kids Book About author Rebecca Alexander.
Our listener Krystyna sent us a question.
Krystyna: My question about body image is how can you feel more beautiful about your body?
Ari: Krystyna, thank you so much for sharing this question with us. It can take a lot of strength and bravery to talk about your feelings about your body. But I think even just talking about these feelings can be a BIG first step to finding confidence in your body.
I want to share a quote from Rebecca’s book with you that I really love.
“Here's the real truth. Nothing about you needs to be fixed. Your skin is the color it's supposed to be. Your muscles are the size they're supposed to be. Your hair is as curly as it's supposed to be. Your teeth don't need to be any whiter than they already are, and you don't need to lose weight.”
You know, Krystyna, our bodies are awesome just the way they are! Your body keeps you alive and works with you to learn special skills and do things only you can do. You are you. And I think that’s pretty cool!
Rebecca: So the truth is, any time, you start to think that there's something wrong with your body, something about your body that needs to be fixed. I encourage you to just ask a question of yourself, right then, if you can think of it and have the presence of mind ask: who benefits for me feeling this way, who benefits from me thinking of it? That my teeth would somehow be better if they were whiter. Ask that question: who benefits from that? And the answer is always somebody trying to sell me something, right? Like most of the time you're going to end up with, oh, well, it's that teeth whitening company that wants to sell me teeth strips to make my teeth whiter for $20 a month for the rest of my life, you know?
And there’s nothing wrong with deciding that there's something about your body that you want to change. Absolutely I'm totally behind that. But like, you don't need to, because there's nothing about you that needs to be fixed. You can change something about yourself because you want it to be different, but it's not because it was wrong and broken and needed to be fixed.
Like I just reject that. Our bodies do not need to be fixed. So if you want to change something, that's absolutely fine, and it's totally up to you and I will fight for your right to do that. But yeah. I hope that you never want to change something because you believe that there's something about you that's broken, because I just know that's not true.
Ari: Rebecca shared how she came to write A Kids Book About Body Image, and how it feels like it was meant to be.
Rebecca: Jelani was sharing about, um, his business, and, he was talking about different topics that he needed covered and, um, I would just want it to be helpful. And I said, “Hey, you know, if you want to write A Kid's Book About Body Image, I know that's a really like particular topic and will help a lot of people. Um, I know some really cool people who can write that book. I can get you in touch with these famous people. These celebrities, these people with millions of followers.”
Like the next day came up to me and he was just like, “All right. So I don't want you to say yes or no now. I want you to like go away and think about it. But I want you to write the, A Kid's Book About Body Image. “
And I was like, I immediately want to say no, of course, but I told him that I wouldn't say yes or no until I went away and thought about it. So the next day after I'd taken 24 hours to think about it. And I was like, I can write that book because you know, Jelani, like that was one of the things that he said to me. He was like, I want you to write it. I want it to be from you. And I think that you're going to do great. Like, I, I don't care that you don't have a million followers. I want you to write the book. So he believes in me, that made me believe in myself.
And I'm so glad that I did it and that I didn't pass it off to somebody else because you know, like when you do something that's meant to be, it feels easy, you know?
Ari: Right now, as this episode is coming out, a lot of kids and families are getting ready to go back to school—some for the first time since before the COVID-19 pandemic. It may have been a really long time since you’ve been able to see your friends.
So, I want to leave you with a little piece of advice from Rebecca that might be really helpful now in appreciating how our bodies are our homes that carry us through life.
Rebecca: We're all kind of coming back into the world after a year and a half of not seeing as many people and not being seen by as many people and all of our bodies are different. They're all different than when we started.
That's particularly true when we're kids, right? Because our body's changed a lot faster when we're kids. And that's like, if I could just offer one piece of advice to people that are listening, like know that about yourself and your body. Like, it changes. It's going to change. It's going to be different. That's true for everybody, you know, especially other people your age.
So like everybody you're at a year in class with you're all coming back and you're all gonna look different. Be kind to one another, know that like people are insecure about, you know, all sorts of little things. So be kind. And if somebody tries to make you feel bad about your body, Do your best to like, shut that down and not let them get to you.
Cause really that's, that's what it's about. It's about knowing that your body's changing, knowing that it's going to be different, knowing that it's doing the important work of keeping you alive. This has been a scary time for a lot of us. And like we haven't known if we were going to be healthy, you know, it's like some of us have been worried.
We've had friends and family who have gotten sick and maybe some of us have, you know, had friends and family who have passed away. And those of us who have survived, like we have our bodies to thank for it. And, you know, I just really hope that as we kind of spend more time with one another, we can spend that time appreciating our bodies and what they've gotten us through and less time scrutinizing them for how they might look different than when we went into this.
Ari: Thank you to Rebecca Alexander, author of A Kids Book About Body Image, for joining us today. And thanks to our very special kid voices for helping make this episode what it is.
Blaine: My name is Blaine. I’m 11 years old, and I live in Oregon. My favorite thing is skateboarding, making films, and playing with my dog.
Krystyna: My name is Krystyna. I am 12 years old, and my favorite thing is anime and roblox.
Piper: My name is Piper. I’m 11 years old, and I live in Oregon. My favorite thing to do is volleyball, dancing, and cooking.
Ari: Thank you, listeners! If you want to be on a future episode of A Kids Book About: The Podcast or if you have a question you’d like us to consider, have a grownup email us at listen@akidspodcastabout.com and we’ll send you the details.
Today’s episode of A Kids Book About: the Podcast was written, edited, and produced by me, Ari Mathae, with support from Matthew Winner. The show was edited by Chad Michael Snavely and the team at Sound On Studios. Our executive producer is Jelani Memory. And this show was brought to you by A Kids Podcast About.
Follow the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever podcasts are found, and if you liked this episode, consider sharing it with a friend, teacher, or grownup.
Join us next week for a discussion about identity with A Kids Book About author Taboo.